These are some skittling terms. Essential reading for anyone who studies the game.
- 27!: The ultimate score that a player can achieve in one leg by way of scoring a flopper with each ball.
- Aerial Bombardment: A method of skittling much favoured by those who use the "Dambusters" technique of play.
- Alley: The small, usually secluded, area of the pub or club where skittles is played.
- Anchor Man: The supposed best player in the squad traditionally placed last in the team list. The role of anchor man is sometimes a high pressure job which involves achieving high scores week in, week out and chasing down a score left by the opposition. Highs include an anchorman scoring a 15 "spare" to win the game by one pin but lows of needing a 5 and only getting a 4 and the team losing 10-0.
- Average: The collection of scores accumulated during the season added together and divided by the number of games gives you an average. A good average over a season of rough skittling is thought to be around the 24 mark. Some skittler's can attain an average of around 30 pins for a season whilst others a lowly 16.06 pins.
- Ball came out of my Hand Wrong: A perennial excuse used by generations of players from every part of society as a way of explaining why they have just hit the side of the alley or indeed totally missed the alley altogether.
- Beer Leg: A friendly leg of skittles traditionally played at the end of a game with a small amount of money on the side for the winning team.
- Beer: The liquid sustenance that maintains and nourishes the player during the arduous rigours of the skittles match.
- Bottomley Trophy: Is a trophy more accurately called "Bottomley Trophy - most improved player" awarded to the player with the most improved average from one season to the next. So far it has never been awarded to the same player twice or in successive seasons. It was named after Keith Bottomley who was one of the best players to play for us, even getting his name on the "highest average" board in Seend Social club, but decided to retire from the game.
- Bye: A night off from skittles. Best used by going for a curry.
- Captain: Person who is supposedly in charge of the team but which usually takes the brunt of any moans, gripes or back biting - especially if they themselves have just been "dropped".
- Captains' Play off: The point in a "Beer Leg" where the two teams are drawn level on scores at the end of the leg and so have to rely on their respective Captains to "Play off" to decide who gets the money!
- Champagne Moment: A term used to describe a piece of skittling skill which can be the outcome from a "Skittler's Nine" or a "Trick Shot". The award of the "Ridgeway Trophy" has been made for many Champagne Moments.
- Couldn't hit a Cow's arse with a shovel!: A well used phrase which accurately describes a player's attempt at hitting a pin. Or in Nathan's case the alley.
- Curse of the Yellow Jersey: The superstitious, possibly psychosomatic, process whereby a once successful player blames his current poor playing prowess on the fact that he is wearing the much coveted Yellow Jersey.
- Dambuster: A term coined for those players of a certain age who cannot bend over anymore due to arthritis, piles, etc who tend to throw the ball into the alley rather than smoothly above, and parallel to, the alley surface and thus causes the ball to erratically bounce all the way down to the pins with the usual outcome of scoring minimal pins. Derivation: The Barnes-Wallis bouncing bomb used on the Möhne, Sorpe and Eder dams.
- Deviants Trophy: Is traditionally given to a player who has got the biggest deviation between his highest score and his lowest score. The current highest deviation belongs to Pete Wallis for 24 pins.
- Diamond: The area occupied by the skittles.
- Dis-Honourable Duck: A term used to describe a player's leg when he has scored nothing and got a "Duck" because he couldn't "Hit a Cow's Arse with a Shovel" and "Hit the side of the Alley". Roger is probably our best exponent in this phrase.
- Dispressed: BJ after getting a "duck". He is Dispressed at least a couple of times per season normally.
- Doing the Food: Is, surprisingly enough, not innuendo but is in fact a reference to the fact that one member of the team is preparing the after match supper. This normally consists of sausages and chips (from a chip shop is optional depending if you had remembered to "do the food" or not) or a couple of bits of bread, a scraping of cheese and a hint of pickle if BJ is on duty.
- Dropped: The point at the end of the game where you are informed that because of the surfeit of spare players combined with your small amount of scoring you are not required to play at the next match; ie, you were rubbish!
- Duck: The unfortunate result in not hitting one single pin (in Rough skittles) or any legal pins (in Nomination or Front pin skittles) during a leg. For further definitions see "Honourable Duck" and "Dis-Honourable Duck".
- Early Days: The phrase "Early Days" is usually uttered by the Captain as a means of encouraging his team that they are not yet beaten on a particular leg despite the fact that they might actually be down by 20 pins or more.
- End of season meal: The traditional end of season festivities which include beer, food, more beer, awful speeches, awarding trophies and rubber ducks, more beer, drinking games and, if the mood allows, knocking on Terry's door and running away just like a 10 year old.
- Exhibition Skittling: A term used to describe a player who is showing off by actually hitting what he is aiming at, even with the odd "trick Shot" thrown in for good measure. Really good exhibition Skittling finishes with either a "Skittler's Nine" or a "Spare".
- Exocet Missile: a ball which is traversed along the alley at speeds in excess of 100 mph, sometimes with great results. Unfortunately, severe damage can be caused by the exocet missile as it strikes the pins and hits either the sticker-up or simply goes airborne to hit various items of glass, paintwork, etc. Big John is the greatest exponent of the exocet missile.
- Fixtures: List of games to be played throughout the season.
- Flock of Geese: The formation of skittles left after a ball has removed the middle pin, back pin and both the back quarters.
- Flopper: The happy result of hitting down the complete frame of nine pins from just one of your three balls.
- Frame: The area of the alley whereby the skittle pins are situated in a diamond formation.
- Fred Astair: A term used to describe the bowling action of a player who flails his legs and arms about in a vain attempt to alter the course of the ball despite it being already half way down the alley. Our very own Jim Savill is classified as a "Fred Astair".
- Front pin first: Variation of Skittles whereby to score the player must first hit the front pin and knock it down before any other pin before a score is counted. Any pins other than the front hit down first will not count and will not be reset in the frame until the leg is over.
- Gate's Open: A polite way of saying that the front pin, middle pin and back pin have been removed with the first ball. Also known as a "Gutser" and "Split her Whiskers".
- Get over: A phrase often used by apoplectic old aged skittlers frustrated that their "Dambusters" type ball has yet again missed its desired target
- Getting an excuse in early: Always a good plan. If you've sprained your little finger or bumped your funny bone, say it before you play, then when you "Play like a Woman" you'll have already provided an excuse and lowered expectations.
- Glad you could make it tonight: A phrase of pure sarcasm made towards a player who's about to be "dropped".
- Groupies: Collective noun for the assembly of wives, girlfriends and other hangers-on attending a skittles match with their other half. Also know as "WAGS".
- Gutser: A term used to describe the action whereby the preceding ball has just knocked down the front pin, the middle pin and the back pin. Also known as "Splitting Her Whiskers".
- Highest Average: This is a mathematically calculated conclusion after all the team players have had their scores analysed in the same way; i.e. The collection of scores accumulated during the season added together and divided by the number of games gives you an average. The player with the highest average over the season is awarded the highly Prestigious trophy called the "Horney-Shafto Cup of Skittling Excellence".
- Hit the Side of the Alley: An unfortunate mishap caused either by a "Ball came out of my Hand Wrong" or a "Couldn't hit a Cow's arse with a shovel! moment.
- Honourable Duck: A term used to describe a player's leg when he has scored nothing and got a "Duck" because he was "too Accurate" and each ball had gone "straight through".
- Horney-Shafto Trophy: More accurately called the "Horney-Shafto Cup of Skittling Excellence". It was named after two former players of the Seend Cleeve Sailing Club in remembrance of them after they both died relatively young in 2005. The players were Richard Horney and Bobby Shafto. The trophy has been awarded annually, at the "end of season meal", to the best player over the whole of the season who has attained the highest average. So far (as of the 2010/11 season) only two players have managed to get their name on this most coveted trophy.
- In the tin: The phrase often shouted by team mates after scoring 5 pins or less during a leg. The penalty for scoring 5 or less is a 20p fine, which is usually hurled into the tin. if you score a duck the fine is £1.
- Jammy Git = Graham :-)
- Killer: Traditional game of skill where two or more players take turns at hitting the pins using just the one ball. Each player is awarded 3 lives at the start of the game. A life is lost if the ball fails to knock down any of the pins. The player who remains in the game after everyone else has lost their lives is the winner. Killer can be played using "rough" or "Nomination" rules.
- King Pin: The overly large, and very traditional, middle pin in the skittles "Diamond".
- Leg: A leg is a skittling term used to describe each section of play whereby the player or bowler is able to use three balls to aim at the pins. A game normally consists of four legs.
- Let it Roll: A Phrase which is usually no more than a desperate cry of anguish and sincere hope to knock more pins down during a leg.
- Mike Ridgeway Trophy: Is a wooden skittle shaped trophy given at the "end of season meal" to a player who has either had a "Champagne Moment" or is given at the Captain's discretion for whatever reason. It has so far (as of the 2010/11 season) never been awarded to the same player twice. Mike Ridgeway was an ex-Captain of Seend Cleeve Sailing Club (and still holds the record for most seasons as Captain) and also has the honour of scoring the highest amount of pins in one match with 54!
- Money for getting a Spare: The financial reward given to the player who has just scored a "spare" - usually 1p per pin but sometimes, if the paying player is feeling generous they may let them keep the change which benefits the recipient by as much as 4p in some instances.
- Need a Compass?: A little light hearted question asked of a player who currently "Couldn't hit a cow's arse with a shovel" and is "Playing like a Woman".
- Nomination: Variation of Skittles whereby to score the player must nominate which pin they intend to hit with their ball during the leg. Any pins, other than the nominated pins, hit down first will not count and will not be reset in the frame until the leg is over.
- Off the alley: A phrase used to inform trespassing members of either team (or the general public) to kindly vacate the playing surface of the alley on which you are about to throw a ball down.
- Old MacDonald: A children's nursery rhyme sung to an opposition player after he has put the second ball "Straight Through" and still remains scoreless. Old MacDonald is usually preceded by a "Whoosh" whereby the whole team (and occasionally some of his own team mates) sing just the one line of "Old MacDonald had a Farm" followed by a rousing and hearty "ee aye ee aye ohhhh" as he is about to bowl his third and last ball. Used because Old MacDonald had a "Duck" on his farm.
- On the alley: A phrase shouted when a player misses the diamond.
- One Game Special: Is a term used to describe the particular moment when a member of the team decides to play out of their skin and not only win the yellow jersey but also the "Horney-Shafto" trophy!
- One Leg Special: An annoying instance whereby a player manages to win the yellow jersey by having one very high scoring leg but is virtually hopeless in the other three.
- One up: A term used to instruct the "sticker-up" to reset a particular pin back into its position ofter it was illegally hit down: ie, a ball coming off the side of the alley or a pin coming off the side of the alley.
- ooh!: a phase uttered to denote feigned surprise usually at the opposition missing. Also used as a generic turn of phrase commentary by Frank on just about anything to describe the action of a ball hitting a pin. For example; a "Straight Through" could be described as an "Ooh" or even a "Gutser" could produce an "Ooh".
- Opposition Team: The assembled motley crew that make up the opposition can be a varied lot; either youthful and full of voice or old and humourless.
- Play off: A term used to describe when two or more players are democratically engaged in one "leg" of skittles to see who gets the highest score. A play off is used to decide who is "Dropped" (if scores are tied in the match), who wins the "Yellow Jersey" or even a "Beer Leg" to give but a few examples. If, for example, two or more players are tied in score during the play off, they simply play another "leg" until an outright winner is achieved.
- Playing like a woman: Is a trophy traditionally given to the player who has the lowest average in the team over the whole season. The lowest ever average fir which it has been awarded is 16.06 pins - the highest is 23.43 pins (as of the 2010/11 season). It's also a derogatory turn of phrase to mean not very good.
- Purser: Shipmate who looks after the subs. Main job role includes getting blood from a stone.
- Put Me Off: A player may use this pointed phrase to go some way towards explaining why they may have just "Hit the Side of the Alley".
- Rota: A list of team members showing who is doing food and who is driving. Frank takes great pleasure in drawing up the rota each season.
- Rough skittles: Variation of skittles whereby the player can hit, and score from, any of the pins no matter if it was an intended hit or not.
- S.C.S.C Trophy: Is traditionally given to a player who has scored the lowest amount of pins during one match. The Club record lowest score is currently set at 9 pins which is shared by Steven Nunn and Roger Ames.
- Skittler's Nine: A term used to describe an awkward formation of skittles left after the first ball has been thrown - normally if they have "Split her whiskers" and are just left with the thighs to aim at. On successfully completing the Skittler's Nine it could also be classed as "Exhibition Skittling".
- Skittler's Technique: A method of throwing the ball down the alley. Every player has a, sometimes unique, form of technique. Some players like to stand side-on to the alley whereas others may prefer to face down the alley. Depending on whatever technique is observed during a game you are always guaranteed to witness at least one example of "Fred Astair" and quite a few examples of "Dambuster" with differing results.
- Spare Player: Any player who is attending the game but is not actually on the score sheet. As an example, if there are two spare players then two players in the game will be "Dropped".
- Spare-on: The point where, on your second ball, you have the practical advantage of being able to knock down the remaining pins which are in a suitable formation to do so depending on usage of an accurate follow up ball. An alternative use is to state "spare on" before the player has even thrown a ball, as a form of encouragement, usually because the team are losing. It can also be used as a form of irony when you have absolutely no chance of getting a spare.
- Spare: A widely used term for when you have successfully knocked down all nine pins with either your first or second ball - thus giving you a "spare" ball to throw at a separate frame of nine pins. For a first ball spare see "Flopper".
- Split her Whiskers: A colourful yet vulgar turn of phrase used by some lower class players to describe a "Gutser". After hitting out the three pins (front, middle and back) you are left with three pins on either side of the frame. These are known as thighs which should only be used in conjunction with the phrase "Split her Whiskers".
- Sticker-up: A sticker-up is the job title usually given to a nubile young girl or a bored teen aged boy who's trousers hang well below his buttocks.The task they perform is to reset the pins after a leg or a spare or to reset a pin if it has been illegally hit down. The sticker-up is advised to stand well clear of exocet balls.
- Straight Though: A term used to describe the unfortunate result of a ball not striking any pins at all. It can also be used to great effect to goad an opposition player who has just got a spare and is ready to bowl his final ball. Sometimes used in conjunction with the phrase "Too Accurate".
- Subs: All players pay £3 if they play and £1 to watch skittles. The subs go towards paying for a sticker up, food and the end of season meal. and also the shuttle.
- The Betting Syndicate: An impromptu system of wager whereby a player bets on a fellow player using a numismatic token (usually a 10p) and places it on a prepared sheet which denotes single digit scores, a spare or, more cruelly, a duck. Like the more widely followed sport of Horse Racing, a gambler studies the present and past form of the bowler about to play and hedges his bet accordingly. If the gambler has successfully placed his token on the score which is then matched by the bowler then he alone takes the other tokens placed by fellow gamblers. In rare instances a Roll Over has been known to take place and a betting frenzy then takes over.
- The Shuttle: The team travel to away games in the community minibus known as the Shuttle. Team members take it in turns to drive according to the rota.
- Tony Pratley Cup: This is a trophy awarded to a player who gets the highest score in a game. It was named after Tony Pratley who was one of the founder members of the club and one of the best players ever to pull on the "Yellow Jersey". The highest score so far recorded on the cup is 44 and the lowest is 35. (as of the 2010/11 season)
- Too accurate: A sympathetic term used to cajole the bowling player into thinking that they were a bit too straight/accurate on the pin that they were aiming at and as a result totally missed it.
- Trick Shot: A term used to describe the sometimes impossible action whereby the ball bounces off the pins, pins roll right across the frame or other un-describable actions which cause pins to fall. A trick shot is usually 99% unintended. Graham & BJ are exponents of the trick shot.
- Use the Force: Asked of a senior, much older member of the team who may be old and wise like a Jedi Knight but in all probability are just old.
- WAGS: Wives and girlfriends of skittler's. Known to attend quiz evenings, generally with disappointing results :-)
- Warm the Alley up, Need to: A statement used by the older generation of players as an answer to why the pins are not falling.
- We've seen 'em go through!: A rousing one line chorus that is sung at every alley in the land when an opposition player gets a "spare". The best case scenario for any team that has to sing "We've seen 'em go through" is to then, all in unison, give a big "whoosh!".
- Whoosh! A sarcastic man-made sound effect which is used to goad opposition players as they have put yet another ball straight through.
- Yellow jersey: The crowing achievement of being awarded the much coveted, and possibly World famous, Yellow Jersey after a night's skittling whereby you outscore every team mate. Legend has it that the recipient of the Yellow jersey is entitled to certain favours from their better half after getting home from the game whether they are asleep or not. History does not record any outcomes from the legend though. Reuben? :-)
- Yellow jersey satisfaction: The conjugal rights one can expect from their better half after winning the much coveted "Yellow Jersey".